As I write this, there is a 13-month old princess playing with her Little People Farm on the floor beside me. She is beautiful, she is healthy, she is happy… and in seven days, she will be mine.
I suppose she has always been mine, at least since the first time I first laid eyes on her April 11th of last year. Since that day, she has stolen my heart, overjoyed my days, lengthened my waking hours, and taken me on the biggest journey I’ve ever known to date. And in just seven days… I will get to refer to her as “My Daughter.” Not my “foster-daughter,” simply my daughter. No prefix necessary.
We will get to have all of the privileges that come with being a “real family”… one being, we’ll be able to visit my family in California without needing a written permission slip from her social worker (yippee!).
She will be my daughter.
And I will be her mommy. The forever kind of mommy that every child so desperately needs. I can promise her I’ll always be there for her, and mean it with my whole heart. Because nobody will be able to take her away.
What an amazing feeling that will be. Right now, it’s still hard to imagine. I still have lingering thoughts in the back of my mind… “What if this happens….”… “What if a family member steps in and ruins everything?” These are the thoughts I, and, as I imagine, many other foster parents deal with on a daily basis on their road to forever.
It’s a long road, adopting through the foster care system. But it’s a blessed road, too. It’s tested my faith and it’s solidified my faith. I’ve had moments of sheer panic, and moments of overwhelming peace. It’s taught me so many lessons I’d never have learned otherwise. But, most of all, it’s given me a child to love. It’s given me a family.
So, why the blog? Because there is someone out there who is struggling with infertility right now. Who feels frustrated beyond measure that they cannot seem to conceive, despite the monthly ovulation tests and following every get-pregnant tip they’ve ever stayed up late scanning the internet for. There is a woman out there who “did things the right way” and waited for marriage, has a stable life with a loving husband, and a perfect room just across the hall from hers, of which she often stands in the doorway and imagines a crib and a glider against the wall, and a baby playing on the floor with his blocks.
If you can relate to any of the above, this blog is for you. For the teacher who watches her young students kiss their moms goodbye in the morning and desperately yearns to live out such a simple, everyday act with a child of her very own. For the waitress who sees family after family pour in and out of the restaurant, young ones holding mommy’s hand. This is for you, if you’ve ever questioned whether God is involved in your life, even cares about you at all. I can assure you He does.
One of my new favorite verses is Psalm 113:9. It simply states, “He gives the childless woman a family, making her a happy mother.” I used to wonder how this would happen. It didn’t seem to be happening “naturally.” But now, I get it. And God is faithful to this promise as well as all the others. He may not answer this in the way you hope, but my goal is to convince you of God’s never-ending faithfulness and that adoption is not a second-rate choice. Yes, adoption may not be for everybody. But for those willing to open their hearts to the orphans of this world, and realize that there is a child longing to call some woman “mommy” just as much as you’re longing to call her “daughter,” it can be the most significant blessing of your life.
So, this blog is also for her. The child whose face I cannot picture, and whose name I do not know. The child who, at this moment is waiting for a family. Waiting for the unconditional love of a mother. Waiting for someone to give her a chance. If this blog can give even one infertile woman hope and give a family-less child a home, I will consider this time well spent.
(To begin reading our adoption story, click here)