“Let’s start a family!”
Oh, the power in these four little words.
Many couples can probably remember the moment they had this conversation with their spouse. These words are exciting. These words inspire hope, and dreams of pitter-pattering feet racing down the hallway.
When the first month passes and the test shows negative, it’s a little disappointing, but nothing a little chocolate can’t fix.
Then when the second month passes, and there’s no sign of a line – not even a hint- the disappointment builds. But oddly, so does the hope, because your chances are only getting better with each passing month, right?
But what about the couple who are well into their second, third, or even fourth year of trying to begin a family? Buying pregnancy tests is no longer exciting, but almost painful as you already anticipate another let-down. You may even stop buying pregnancy tests altogether, because it only seems like a waste of money at this point.
I still remember the last pregnancy test I took. It was at the most magical place on earth… Walt Disney World. It was supposed to be the happiest day of my life (aside from our engagement and wedding, of course). I remember slipping the little test in my purse that morning, imagining that a few hours later I’d skip out of the restroom and excitedly announce to my husband that we were expecting. After all, what better place to celebrate than Disney World? Oh, how i hoped it would say positive. But I knew better.
Even though we’d just experienced our first low-tech treatment a few weeks before, and the hope should have been higher than it’s ever been, I knew there was nothing significant going on inside me. And the test confirmed it. Nada. My husband knew the minute he saw my face as I exited the restroom, defeated.
Suddenly, it seemed like the families with children multiplied around us. “Mommy, look!” was all I could hear amidst the noises of Animal Kingdom. Children erupted in laughter. Daddies toted their tots on their shoulders. My husband held my hand. I cried. I wanted a baby.
A few weeks later, at a small corner table in a big fancy Italian restaurant, as we tried to squeeze in dinner before I needed to be back at my school for the Christmas recital, I built up the courage to tell my husband what was really on my mind. Something I’d been dwelling on for the past three days. I didn’t have peace about the low-tech treatments. I didn’t want to spend thousands of dollars on something that may or may not work. I couldn’t stop thinking about the thousands of children who already existed who desperately wanted (and needed) a mommy. Rather than insist I bring another into the world, I wanted to make one of those mine.
“I wanna adopt,” I said, after explaining my lack of peace with the other options. I thought he’d say, “Let’s just try a few more months,” or “I really want one of our own.” But he didn’t. He simply smiled a knowing smile, looked into my eyes and said… “Let’s do it.”
So our journey began.
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